What is it that I am feeling?

Ever felt this feeling of what am I doing with my life?

Photo by Timo Stern on Unsplash

Currently, I am in the second semester of my PhD program and here I am sitting with this thought “Am I doing enough?” “Should I be doing more?” “How much more should I do to feel better about myself?”

Is this a thought you feel often, or is it fleeting?

Is it something you ponder on, or does it pass away like a gush of wind?

For the most part, this thought for me is fleeting, and short-lived. I decide to do nothing about it, hoping it will pass away again. But, alas, I guess it is here to stay. After a week of pondering, I decide to call a friend and talk to her about these thoughts I am having.

I begin, “ I just feel like I am not doing enough. I could do more, something worthwhile, you know.”

Well, she asks, “How do you define worthwhile?”

For me, doing something worthwhile has always been close to helping either myself or someone else, in some form or the other. Should I be writing a blog or should I create a website? Should I make an Instagram page on mental health to should I start a YouTube channel?

Considering all these options and whirlwind of thoughts I was having- I saw a link among these thoughts. It was engagement. I was feeling not engaged. More so…